“And [Jacob] arose during that night, and he took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven children, and he crossed the ford of the Jabbok.” — Genesis 32:23

In this week’s parsha Yaakov (Jacob) prepares for a dreaded encounter with his brother Eisav in three different ways. First he prays to G-d for his protection, then he sends generous gifts to appease his brother, and finally – lest all else fail – he prepares to do battle. As part of the lead up to his encounter with Eisav (Esau), we read how Jacob transports his wives and children over the Jabbok River. However there seems to be something omitted in the text here – the Torah mentions his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons (Benjamin has not yet been born) – but there is no mention at all of his daughter Dina! What happened to her, was she left behind, or was she so unimportant that she was ignored in the Tora.

Rashi comments here with a quote from the Midrash, and explains why Dina is not mentioned explicitly here: Yaakov, in his fear that his wicked brother Eisav would be attracted to Dina, hid her out of sight in a chest until Eisav had been and gone. Since she had “disappeared” from view, she also “disappears” from the Torah verse.

That is all well and good, we can all understand Yaakov’s rationale in protecting his beloved daughter – but then we read the end of the midrashic quote, where we see that Jacob was punished for his hiding of Dina, and the interesting rationale behind that. Why indeed was a loving father punished for protecting his daughter from an evil villain? Says the Midrash, “shemah tachzireno le’mutav – maybe she (Dina) could have turned his (Eisav’s) life around, making him a better person.”

This is a fascinating statement from the Midrash. Here was Yaakov protecting his vulnerable young daughter from the wicked Eisav, yet he was punished for this – because had Dina met Eisav, she may have put him back on the right track.

Now of course Dina was a unique individual in her own right, born to holy and righteous parents. She must also have had tremendous spiritual abilities to be able to effect positive change in others – even in someone as wicked as Eisav. So – our mission is not to send our daughters out into the world to find dangerous looking men to marry! That was possibly a task for Dina alone. However what we can learn from this story is two fold.

Firstly, we see the importance of confronting the world we live in, and using the positive moral and ethical values in the Torah to make it a better place. We mustn’t shy away from the world simply because it may seem big and aggressive: If you have truth and positive values to share you never know what you may achieve.

Secondly, we see here a glimpse of an oft-repeated theme throughout Tanach, the Mishna and the Talmud: the power of the Jewish woman to affect her surroundings. Whether we are talking about Devorah the prophetess, the women enslaved in Egypt, or a contemporary wife and mother the Torah drums into us that the woman is the Ikeret HaBayit – the one who sets the tone of the Jewish home, and the one with the innate ability to gently set her husband and children onto the correct spiritual path. On a daily basis one of the reasons why women are exempt from certain mitzvot is that they are seen as intrinsically more deeply connected to their souls and their source, and hence need less constant “reminding” of who they are.

All we need do is ensure that our young daughters and granddaughters (along with the guys of course) receive the right education and environment when young – the rest will be in good hands.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi  Zalman Lent

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